This question is a complicated one because some people say no, its not and you’ll never know whom you’ll meet, or when you will need to talk to that person, or encounter them someday. Whereas some people say yes, it is definitely OK because they bring negativity and toxicity into your life. This can most certainly be a sensitive topic to talk about, but it’s an important one! Of course, this is mainly coming from a person who tries her best to bring more positivity to the table and into her life. But sometimes when you feel depressed about a situation by a certain person(s) that brings you down and effects your mental health, you do what you need to do. This applies to all different kinds of relationships. This could be with co-workers or bosses in particular, friends, and yes, even family members. I told you this was a sensitive subject.
That being said, here are a few examples that have happened in my life that explain why I had to burn those few bridges because unfortunately, I have experience in all three areas I mentioned above.
Let’s start with friendships. For me, the first bridge I burned was with a couple of friends in high school, senior year, who in the end treated me poorly. Stealing, manipulating, and stabbing me in the back just to name a few examples. Thankfully, I had a best friend, same one to this day, that helped to pick up the pieces after all that we’ve been through over the years. I am truly grateful for her because without her help and guidance, I might not have had the courage to stand up for myself in the end. My decision to end those friendships came after one of them asked me to choose a side. Boy was that an easy decision! Sayonara! I had never felt better and glad I chose my best friend. Who knows where I would’ve been today if not for her? So, to my best friend, thank you. I love you.
Bringing up all of these feelings is making my stomach churn, but I know how much this will help others, so I am continuing on.
Leaving a job is similar in a way because of either the way your boss treats you, or the kind of atmosphere you work in. For me with one of my jobs, I left because of my boss and the way she treated all of us employees. It was mostly because of favoritism and politics. I then later realized, that this could be mostly every workplace. The most important thing to ask yourself though is, is it really worth staying because either the pay is good or you like working with some of the employees? For me I liked working with some of the employees and the kids in my classroom at the daycare. However, it wasn’t enough for me to stay. I was miserable and it wasn’t good for my mental health; so I had to make a choice. If you are feeling miserable or you are being treated unfairly, it is OK to leave and go somewhere else. Especially if they continue on with their ways and won’t be willing to compromise after you’ve talked with them and expressed your concerns. Find a job that makes you feel good, feel better about yourself and most importantly, happier. Even if it means a pay cut. I’ve always told people that “if you love the job you’re doing, you’ll never work a day in your life.” I hope to continue on with this blog and writing stories and poetry because I love helping others and I love doing what I do. To me it’s not work. It’s a blessing and I am grateful for that.
The last relationship I mentioned is, and this is the toughest bridge to burn, is family. This would be when it was absolutely necessary because of your mental health and the toxicity like I talked about with the previous two. Especially when they have treated you poorly as well. Another example would be if you have philosophically different views of certain things at the point where your relationship becomes toxic. You can always try to rebuild that bridge down the road because they are family, but you need to burn that bridge for now so you can heal. To protect yourself and your own family. If you are unable to rebuild it for certain reasons however, then your mental health will be better because of it, since you no longer have to deal with their lack of empathy and understanding of your views versus theirs.
Hopefully you will know when you’ve had enough with any of these scenarios and you will finally stand up for yourself and make a choice. Is this person that’s affecting my mental health really worth keeping the relationship? If the answer is no, then express how feel to them and politely let them know that you will not be in contact with them anymore or at least for awhile because of how they make you feel. You need to take care of YOU first and to figure out what is it that you truly want in life. This would also be true when you’re wanting to break up with someone that is not helping your mental health as well. This will be shared in a future blog post mostly because of how deeply affected I still am because of it and a big reason as to why I have my three disorders as well.
Once you have burned that bridge, no matter what situation you are in, you will find it freeing and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Other people will notice how much happier you are because you were brave enough to take that leap. Do not wait to change your life for the better! Do something about it now and embrace it. You will come out of this wiser, stronger and more courageous than ever before. Do what makes YOU feel good and the rest will easily fall into place. I am here for you always.
Be well,
Sarah
